tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28766577120838666912021-10-08T21:11:28.898+00:00The Dark SideMario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-50023547652721985902021-09-25T12:05:00.000+00:002021-09-25T12:05:32.507+00:00Interview with Death - a short story<p>We are in a small room with no windows. The walls are of dark grey colour and there's a thick silence that invites for a quiet and respectful chat. I'm sitting at a wooden table with my notepad and favourite pen at hand to take some notes, and an unopened pack of cigarettes close by. I quit ages ago, but the physical presence of the tantalising addiction helps me stay away from it. The only source of light comes from a small lamp resting on the middle of the table, giving a grim appearance to the whole place.</p><p>Death itself is sitting next to me, just about a couple of metres apart. It has the appearance we find familiar in Western Europe - a white skeleton wrapped in a ridiculously long black as hell robe with a hood that covers the greater part of its skull, leaving just the naked face visible. A long and menacing scythe rest on the table. Its edge looks incredibly sharp and shiny.</p><p>'Thanks so much for coming. It's a pleasure and an honour to have you here...So how is life? I mean...'</p><p>'Can I have one of those?' It points with a bonny finger to the pack of cigarettes.</p><p>'Sure.' I take the little box and break the plastic seal that keeps the thing fresh and airtight. The strong scent of tobacco makes my nostrils expand, trying to take in as much as possible of that glorious smell. I can almost feel already the ghost of the nicotine running through my lungs. Death takes a cigarette and I light it up with a zippo I keep concealed in my pocket. It's my good luck charm.</p><p>Death breaths in the first taste of the cigarette, letting go of the smoke.</p><p>'Careful with that. It will eventually kill you.' I say trying to break the ice but immediately regret it when Death looks at me with those empty eye sockets and without any trace of a smile on its face.</p><p>'So how is business going? You busy?' I say.</p><p>'Always. But it's nice to have a break sometimes. I appreciate your invitation. Seems to me there's not much of an interest in me these days.'</p><p>'Yeah, I guess it's not like in the medieval times when you were some kind of a bloody rockstar. People wrote poems and even whole books about you. Artists were taking you as the main character for their paintings and sculptures.'</p><p>'Yes, those were happy days indeed.'</p><p>'Do you miss that?'</p><p>Death keeps smoking with hunger like it hasn't done it for centuries. 'I don't know. Those were different times. I guess we all have to adapt to the current sign of times. But I did indeed feel I was respected then. I felt important.'</p><p>'Do you feel they, I mean, we, don't take you seriously anymore?'</p><p>'I just feel you don't think about me in such a romantic way like before anymore. I feel that I have lost the authority I used to have.'</p><p>'Maybe we just try to live our lives more fully and for longer these days. Whereas centuries ago, your presence was always there as we were lacking medical sources or even real knowledge about human anatomy and physiology, diseases and all that.'</p><p>'Perhaps.'</p><p>'So what's with the outfit and that...thing?' I say pointing at its black robe and the scythe.</p><p>'What about it?'</p><p>'Why do you have to look so scary and all?'</p><p>'I'm Death. I'm not funny business. I must look menacing and project an uncomfortable vision. Can you imagine if it were otherwise? What do you think would happen if I looked nicer? If I were pretty and colourful all the bloody children would want to be next to me, hugging me and everything.'</p><p>'Oh shit, I haven't thought about that.'</p><p>'Yeah, not good for the business.'</p><p>'So it's not like you enjoy taking the soul of the people, right?'</p><p>'Of course not. I mean it's my job. It has always been and it will be for the rest of my existence and I kinda like it. But that doesn't mean I enjoy it. Just to make it clear in case there's a bit of confusion here. I don't kill people, I just take their souls, nothing else.' </p><p>'I see. So you dress like that to be scary so people will try to avoid meeting you and thus trying to enjoy their lives. Is that what you are saying?'</p><p>'I don't care what you people do with your life, but at least I want you to stay alive. Otherwise, I may get very busy and overwhelmed with stuff, and I hate to be stressed.'</p><p>'Death gets stressed?'</p><p>'Sometimes, yes. It's a real nightmare during wartime. Fortunately, that didn't happen for a while now.'</p><p>'You know, I have to confess you something. I had a near-death experience about twenty years ago.'</p><p>'Really? What happened?'</p><p>'You don't know?'</p><p>'Well, it wasn't your time to die. So why should I know? I come once the body is dead, remember?'</p><p>'Right. So it went like this. I was home alone and I was in the kitchen, eating something - I don't remember what it was. Suddenly I feel something stuck in my throat. I try to swallow but nothing happens. I think it took me a couple more tries to eventually get that thing through. It all lasted less than five seconds but, you know the funny thing about it?'</p><p>'Surprise me.'</p><p>'It's true what they say about those last moments of your life, that you see your whole life passing by in front of your eyes. During those brief moments, I started to see images of my childhood in front of me, like a movie showing me the best moments of my life. But when I finally could breathe again, the movie suddenly stopped. It was something remarkable and scary at the same time. An experience like this shows you that we may feel safe, healthy and pretty much ready for anything, and still, death can catch you at any time.' </p><p>'Wow, that was interesting. You would be surprised how many people die from choking. It's quite common, really. And as you said, it can happen at any time. I guess you started chewing your food properly from that moment on.'</p><p>'Yeah, well. You know, sometimes you are hungry, eating in a hurry... And anyway, if my time of dying comes, there's not much I can do, right?'</p><p>'Are you not scared of death?'</p><p>'Do you mean scared of you?'</p><p>'No, I know I'm scary, I mean if you are afraid of dying?'</p><p>'No...I don't think I am. I think am concerned about how I'm going to die. I presume it's not the same thing dying by drowning as doing it in a hospital after years fighting a disease, for example.'</p><p>'What's the most terrifying death you can think of?'</p><p>'I don't know...Dying slowly and painfully, maybe? I mean, dying from falling off a cliff doesn't sound very appealing but you will probably die as soon as you reach the ground, as long as the fall is long enough. Or dying in a car accident is usually quick, I guess. This is not something I think about often, to be honest.'</p><p>'I'm glad to hear that. I would be concerned otherwise. You people need to think of how you live, not how you die.'</p><p>'So tell me a bit about your work environment...wherever that is located. Do angels and stuff like that exist?'</p><p>'Sure they do, but they work in a different department. As you can guess, we don't connect much. We respect each other and all, but that's it.'</p><p>'We talked about your role as a soul collector before. What happens next, what do you do with it?'</p><p>'I take it on a boat trip. See my friend here?' Death looks at the scythe. 'It's this long not only to look menacing but also for helping me driving my little boat.'</p><p>'You mean like the gondolas at Venice?'</p><p>'That's right.'</p><p>'And where do you take the souls?'</p><p>'That depends on the life that soul had had. The are three main places I may take the soul accordingly. To Hell, to Heaven or to the Purgatory. I obviously don't take them directly to all those places as it would take me too much time to do so. I just take them to the proper gate since each place has its own gate which is like a by-pass, you know?'</p><p>'Fascinating. So do you know who decides which soul goes where and why?'</p><p>'That's beyond my duties, but...' Death looks left and right making sure nobody is around. 'There are rumours around.' Says in a whisper.</p><p>'And what do they say?' I ask whispering as well.</p><p>Death points to the ceiling with a white bonny finger. 'The boss up there decides the destiny of every single soul. So if during your life you were an extremely good person, you go straight to Heaven. But if you were extremely mean, you go straight to Hell.'</p><p>'And what about...'</p><p>'And if you were something in between, not quite clear what did you do with your life, you go to the Purgatory, where you will wait for a body to be given to you for another chance to define yourself and the very nature of your soul.'</p><p>'That sounds a bit unclear.'</p><p>'I know. Fortunately, it's not me dealing with that. In that particular case, both bosses -Death points up and then down- need to discuss the destination of every single 'unclear' soul. For example, say you have been a bit of a cheeky bastard. That's not reason enough to send you to Hell, and obviously, they won't send you to Heaven either. Instead, they can give you a lesson and put you in the body of a fly, for example.'</p><p>'Oh shit! But I believe the lifespan of a fly is about just a couple of days, if lucky.'</p><p>'That's right. Time enough for the soul to think about what to do with its existence on the next opportunity, which will be given after that brief life as a fly.'</p><p>'Wow, that's interesting.'</p><p>'Yeah, so be careful what you do out there, my friend. You don't want to spend your next life eating from a pile of dog shit.'</p><p>'Bloody hell!' I say with disgust while imagining the horrible outcome.</p><p>'Exactly. And believe it or not, it can get worse than that.'</p><p>'Death, I wasn't expecting to say this but, despite your appearance, it was lovely to meet you today. Thanks so much for coming and having a chat with me. It was really interesting...and a bit disturbing at the same time.'</p><p>'No problem. My pleasure. It was nice to be out that bloody tiny boat for a change.' Death stubs the remains of the cigarette on the surface of the table. 'I guess I will see you soon.'</p><p>'Excuse me?'</p><p>Death winks at me. Yeah, it has no eyelids and still does the thing, which looks quite unsettling.</p><p>'So what are your plans for the rest of the day?' I ask while I place my pen on the table and close my notepad, wondering if it is a good idea to have a good relationship with Death itself or even to have any kind of connection at all. </p><p>When I turn my head, I can only see an empty chair. There's no Death and no remains of any cigarette. I pick up the pack of cigarettes in front of me and I stare surprised to see that the plastic seal remains untouched, keeping the freshness of it within.</p><p>Gosh! I need a drink.</p><p>I take my stuff and leave the room breathing in the last particles of that sour sweetness of tobacco left in the air, wondering if this is the best day to come back to smoking again.</p><p>Nah! Maybe tomorrow... </p><p><br /></p>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-80253828605183118722021-08-15T17:07:00.001+00:002021-08-15T17:07:54.859+00:007The cargo bay feels cool and smells of grease, oil and rusted metal. The huge place holds a bunch of medium and small size cargo ships for quick human and resource deployment. Looking around, I can see some people working on a ship's internal mechanical organs, other people are moving some stuff from the warehouse to the cargo bay using a heavy lifting machine. The place is full of activity, offering the expected clatter and chatter as continuous background music.<div><br /><div>We have been summoned by our beloved head supervisor Katrina, who seems to have a big surprise for all of us. Standing there among my fellow diggers and beside Tanja, I take a glimpse at that huge object covered by a black tarpaulin next to Katrina, trying to imagine what's hidden underneath.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Well, here we are ladies. As we are approaching our destination, it's about time to find out what state-of-the-art new digging machinery we are going to be using. I hope you are ready to meet the object that is going to become your new best friend.', says Katrina before grabbing the tarpaulin and giving it a good pull.</div><div><br /></div><div>Before us stands a long-shaped twenty metres tall machine, a looming presence that shines with pride and power you can almost smell. It pretty much looks like a small rocket with a few sort legs at the base of it.</div><div>I can hear the 'wows' and 'omgs' among my colleagues while they try to take it in.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Is it me or it really has the shape of a huge dildo with tiny legs?', Tanja whispers in my ear with a smile.</div><div><br /></div><div>The comment makes me chuckle while nodding in agreement. Luckily, we are too far from Katrina for her to notice our cheeky behaviour.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Let me introduce you to GDB800. I know, it looks a bit bigger in reality compared to the scale of the 3D hologram I showed you a few days ago, but that's the point. All those bloody flying rocks out there in space are going to piss on their pants when this thing lands on them. As you can see, it has four legs at the bottom for the purpose of ground attachment, which should be done firing a standard mining nail with your nail gun.'</div><div><br /></div><div>'That thing is huge. How are we going to move that?', asks Jenkins.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Good question, my friend. We've got some special mini-cranes for that very purpose. It will all fit perfectly fine inside our standard-size cargo ship which will deliver us all onto the objective asteroid.', replies Katrina. 'Now, I know you are dying to know how this beauty works, so let's get into it.'</div><div><br /></div><div>Katrina approaches what seems to be the front side of the machine, which has a touchscreen at eye level.</div><div><br /></div><div>'To correctly operate this thing is pretty straightforward. You guys just need to follow the steps showing on the screen. As long as you don't fuck up, everything should go smooth and lovely. However, you need to keep your eyes peeled monitoring the digging process. This fella is powerful but not too smart so if something comes up, you guys need to act accordingly.'</div><div><br /></div><div>'What does that mean exactly?', asks Jenkins.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Say the machine hits heavy duty rock at some point during the digging process. If that happens it will stop, showing the issue on the screen for you to know. Then you can try digging again and see if the drill can get through, but you might need to move the entire machine. I would like to remind you that this fella is a mining asset. It's not meant to be making bloody tunnels on the rock, all right?.</div><div><br /></div><div>'But I guess we can ask you if we encounter a problem, right Katrina? Since you are our head supervisor...', that's Jenkins again trying to be a smart ass as usual.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Jenkins, I may look like your lovely mum to you but it's about time you wipe off your own ass. We have several of these machines so I will be assigning one to every couple of diggers, and its wellbeing will be your responsibility. Nobody goes more than two meters away from it until the job is done, understood?', Katrina says looking at us like patronising a bunch of kids on their first school day. 'Now, I don't give a shit who goes with who but I want to see the commitment and a propper attitude with these machines. They are very expensive pieces of equipment, so don't fuck up!. I'm responsible for your responsibility here. Do I make myself clear?'</div><div><br /></div><div>We all nod in agreement like a bunch of cows eating fresh grass on an early spring morning.</div><div><br /></div><div>'May I hear a yes Katrina?', teases her.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Yes Katrina', we all say with the dull energy of a teenager who's been told to take out the rubbish on a Saturday night.</div><div><br /></div><div>I look at Tanja next to me when she points at me and then back at herself.</div><div><br /></div><div>'You and me?', she asks.</div><div><br /></div><div>'I was counting on that.', I reply with a wink and a smile.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Before you go running back to your miserable lives, come and grab a copy of the instructions manual for each couple', points out Katrina.</div><div><br /></div><div>'I thought operating that thing was pretty straightforward.', says Jenkins.</div><div><br /></div><div>'Jenkins, don't touch my balls!', replies Katrina with a killing stare.</div><div><br /></div><div>I take my manual from Katrina and come back to Tanja. 'Are you fancy?', I ask while offering the thick manual.</div><div><br /></div><div>'You crazy? You are the smart ass from the two of us.', she says with a laugh.</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheeky bastard. At least I know I will be free from nightmares tonight. The boredom of reading that thing is going to knock me out. That sounds like an exciting enough plan for the night. </div></div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-2063977970715924492021-07-09T16:08:00.000+00:002021-07-09T16:08:22.462+00:006<p>Darkness. </p><div>I feel myself amidst an ocean of darkness. Among the deafening silence, I can hear and even feel a slow and deep breath next to me. A strong sense of fear sinks within me, freezing my body. Is that an animal heavy breathing? There's something else. A choir of whispering voices suddenly appear in the background surrounding me. What do they say? It's difficult to hear it as they overlap each other over and over again.<br /><br />'We feel you!' They seem to say.<br /><br />I wake up covered in sweat. Again the same nightmare. My naked skin feels warm and wet. I check the time: 4.30 am. No point to come back to sleep. Not like I could after that disturbing nightmare anyway. This time was a bit different though. Seems to me that there's some sort of evolution within the nightmare, like a creepy story being told piece by piece. Before it used to be the same nightmare every other night, but for some reason, I cannot grasp, it has started to change recently. Now there are some voices added to that strange breathing. What does it mean? </div><div><br /></div><div>This is driving me crazy.<br /><br />I push a button to raise the blind from the window by the bed, revealing the dim light coming from the deep space. Infinite stars lit my room in a remarkable romantic way. Despite the familiarity of the view, I'm never tired of it. I find it impossible to get used to this beauty.<br /><br />Still spaced out, I get up and go for the shower after doing my morning exercises. The hot water clears the sweat from my body and the disturbance from my mind. I'm gonna need to change the bedding...again. The linen department must think by now I suffer from urinary incontinence or something like that.<br /><br />The shower works as a blessing. Feeling refreshed, I get myself into my uniform. The strong and tight fabric brings my mental strength back as it reshapes every inch of my body. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm ready for another day in paradise.<br /><br />As I step out of my room I sense the silence within the well-lit ship corridors while I'm on my way towards the cantine. Looks like today I'm gonna be the first soul at breakfast, for a change.<br /><br />After what seems five minutes of walking along the empty passage I realize I should have reached the cantine by now. It was never that far from my room. I keep walking and blaming the mist that still covers the cogs of my mind. <div><br /></div><div>A couple of more minutes pass by when I find myself next to my bedroom door. Well, this is weird. I open the door and I see my room as I left it just a few minutes ago. Alright, let's try again. </div><div><br /></div><div>I close the door and start walking through that empty corridor once again. Funny thing I didn't realise how empty is this corridor, free from other doors, free from anything at all. Where are those lovely pictures from Earth? Moments later I find myself reaching my bedroom again. Fuck! What the hell is going on here? Am I getting lost in my own ship now after so many years? Let's try walking in the opposite direction and see what happens. </div><div><br /></div><div>After a few minutes of walking the white corridor, I see a dark spot ahead. The passage starts to become dark bit by bit. I stop walking in awe. I turn over just to find the darkness reaching towards me from the opposite direction as well. My heart starts to pump like crazy as my adrenaline reaches peak level in no time.<br /><br />I feel my limbs paralyzed as though somebody bolted my feet to the metallic floor. I can do nothing else but keep looking at how the darkness approaches slowly towards me. In no time I find myself engulfed in nothing but blackness. There's nothing left from the ship's corridor. I can't even see my own body. My running heart is the only sound I can get until I suddenly hear those voices from my dream, again. A faint whisper of many voices: 'We feel you...'. </div><div><br /></div><div>'Who are you? What do you want from me, dammit?' I shout to the darkness in fear and desperation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tears start collecting on my eyes until they fall heavy along my warm cheeks. </div><div><br /></div><div>'I don't understand.' I whisper to the emptiness surrounding me.<br /><br />'We feel you!' This time it's only one female voice behind me followed by a hand on my shoulder. I turn over...and I wake up in my room. Again the same sweat on my naked body and again it's 4.30 bloody am. A dream within a dream, this is getting an interesting twisted hell already. Amanda is going to love this shit when I tell her in my next appointment.<br /><br />After this strange mind-blowing experience, I get myself ready for another piece of reality outside my room, or at least that's what I hope to find this time. The same quiet corridor here so far. I start to walk towards the cantine, finally finding it after just a couple of minutes. Inside the air smells of bacon and coffee and apart from the cook, there's not a soul in there.<br /><br />'Hey, good morning early bird!' Says Vinny, our Italian breakfast chef.<br /><br />'Morning Vinny, how are you doing?'<br /><br />'Here I am, making a lovely breakfast for my lovely fellow crew.' He says with a wide smile that hides the bags under his eyes.<br /><br />'Oh yes, I can smell that alright.'<br /><br />'You know, normally I would tell you to come back in a while since we don't open till 6, but today I'm feeling especially nice so you can stay. I'm still finishing my cooking so you will have to wait a bit.' Says Vinny with sparkling blue eyes looking at me.<br /><br />'Thanks. I appreciate that.' I sit at the table by the counter. 'Some of your yummy warm food is what I need just now.'<br /><br />'You hungry?'<br /><br />'No, I'm starving.'<br /><br />'Right then. How about a strong cup of coffee for starters?'<br /><br />'That sounds awesome. You know, this is the very first time I come to have breakfast before anybody else and I get to choose what I really want to eat'<br /><br />'How come? Did you have bad dreams or something like that?'<br /><br />Suddenly the memories of my last nightmare come back into my mind. I feel the fear spreading around my mind like frostbite, making my body shiver. The darkness. Those voices.<br /><br />'Are you alright, <i>bella</i>? Looks like you have seen a ghost.' Vinny says in his cute Italian accent.<br /><br />'Yeah, I'm alright. I didn't have a pleasant night sleep, to be honest.' I say forcing myself to smile.<br /><br />'Well, do not worry. There's nothing a good cup of coffee can't fix.' He says, pouring a generous amount in a big mug. It smells like heaven.<br /><br />'And don't forget to eat a proper breakfast with that coffee. You need to put some flesh on that skinny ass of yours.'<br /><br />I can't help myself and I start laughing at that.<br /><br />'Vinny, you naughty bastard! What would your wife say if she knew you are flirting with another woman?'<br /><br />'She's waiting for me at home, millions of miles away. And I don't think she would mind, anyway. How says she's not doing exactly the same thing back on Earth?' Says with a laugh.<br /><br />I find myself laughing at that while I peer into my mug of coffee. The vision of the still darkness of that blessing morning beverage brings a crazy idea into my head. What if despite the creepiness within those nightmares there's a hidden good purpose after all? Something positive I'm still unable to understand, perhaps?<br /><br />'You are a funny guy, Vinny.' I say, taking the mug and giving a good sip.<br /><br />The bitter taste erases the clouds of fear from my mind, boosting my self-confidence and building up some strength within me.<br /><br />'I need to find out what the hell is all this about.' I say in a whisper.<br /><br />'What did you say, <i>bella</i>?' Asks Vinny while busy with the cooking.<br /><br />'This coffee is awesome, Vinny. Well done!'<br /><br />'Everything for you, <i>mio caro</i>.' He says, turning his head and winking an eye.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have to admit it, thanks to that bad dream I got to enjoy some lovely fresh coffee and a nice chat. I could get used to this...for a while.</div></div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-6502391457399816542021-06-19T11:47:00.000+00:002021-06-19T11:47:45.838+00:005<p>Back in my room, I feel engulfed by my favourite music. <i>Roads to Madness</i> by <i>Queensryche</i> is blasting out the speakers of the multi-directional sound system, making me feel immersed in my own world within my mind, while I lay on my bed looking through the window into the infinity of the vast universe. Time never pass for the best music ever. I can always rely on my favourite tracks to clear out my mind and push my mood up when needed.</p><br />After my meeting with Dr Lancaster, I keep thinking about what she said about my nightmares. There must be a reason why I get such strange dreams but I'm unable to see the light in the darkness. Literally.<br /><br />Anyway, my mind should be focused on our next mission. Soon we will be digging like crazy again within a hazardous environment and nobody knows what is waiting for us out there in open space. Despite the security measures, the stakes are high so we all feel the pressure of the need for a well-done job.<br /><br />The piercing sound of the buzzer of my door drags me back into the real world. I get up and check the intercom screen: Tanja's pretty grin appears, making me smile back at the screen. I'm always glad to see my best friend so I open the door with no hesitation, just after reducing the music volume.<br /><br />'Hi, are you busy?', she says after the 'hiss' of the opening door.<br /><br />'Nah, just drowning in my thoughts while enjoying my music. Please come in.'<br /><br />Since there's no much furniture in my room -or at least nothing especially comfortable- I offer her to sit on the bed.<br /><br />'Can I get you anything to drink?', I ask before sitting next to her, feeling like two teenagers in a sort of pyjama party talking about fantasies and boys.<br /><br />'I'm ok, thanks. I've lost you after dinner'<br /><br />'Sorry, I went to see Dr Lancaster.'<br /><br />'So, how was that?'<br /><br />'It was ok, I guess. She gave me something to think about, some valuable information about how my mind might be trying to tell me something through my dreams.'<br /><br />'Well, I'm not the expert here, but I would say your mind is just playing some nasty tricks on you, that's all. Or at least, that's how it works on every one of us, don't you think?', she asks.<br /><br />'I don't know. Maybe.', I reply staring at her pretty blue eyes, while I happen to feel some weird sensation in my body there, so close to Tanja. Is that some kind of attraction? Her sweet perfume blinds my mind, her pretty perfect face and that uniform highlighting her curvy and strong figure provoke some kind of dizziness on me I never felt before. After so many years of friendship, full of personal moments and unforgettable experiences together seems difficult to believe that such a feeling like this is happening right now. Is this some kind of weakness my mind is provoking within me? Or is it something else?<br /><br />'Kara, are you alright?', she asks looking at me with a frown.<br /><br />'Yeah, just feeling a bit tired.', I say, ashamed of my own thoughts.<br /><br />'Look, I've got a nice plan after we are done with that bloody mission. We are going back to Earth and provide us a relaxing holiday in Iceland, enjoying the thermal pools, the food, the drinks and the tranquillity in there like in the old times. What do you say?'<br /><br />'I say it sounds like an awesome plan to me. You always find a way to cheer me up when I'm feeling a bit down. Thank you.', I reply with a smile, already feeling a true improvement in my mood.<br /><br />'No problem at all. That's my main mission here since you never had a big sister and I never got to have a little one. We need to support one another, right?'<br /><br />'Yeah, indeed', I say while staring at her eyes, unable to break eye contact.<br /><br />'Come here.', she says with arms open wide, offering a supportive hug.<br /><br />The human contact with somebody so emotionally close to me feels amazing and very supportive. For a few seconds, I happen to forget all my worries and happiness surrounds my mind and body until I notice Tanja's big breasts squeezing mine during that tight grasp, making a friendly hug become something...different. Confused, I start feeling a tingling sensation on my nipples and an increasing warmth within my body.<br /><br />Surprised and ashamed of my own reaction I break off the hug in a harsh way that seems to be unnoticed by Tanja.<br /><br />'And don't worry about those freaky dreams of yours. I'm sure they don't mean anything relevant. They will probably just fade away after a while, you'll see.', she says.<br /><br />'Maybe you're right.', I reply with a funny warmth sensation on my cheeks, unable to look into her eyes.<br /><br />'Right! Time to go to bed. I will leave you with your things and your ancient metal music', she says while standing up and reaching the door.<br /><br />'Thanks for your visit and your support, Tanja. Really.', I say looking at her with true gratefulness.<br /><br />'No worries. Have a good night sleep...and sweet dreams. Maybe something with a hot as hell angel? You know, bulging crotch, warm smile, strong arms...' She says with a wink. 'I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, alright?'<br /><br />'Sure. Good night, Tanja'.<br /><br />When the door opens and as she steps out of my room, I feel the strong impulse of looking at the perfect shape of her bottom while she walks away.<div><br />God, what the hell is wrong with me?<br /><br />Back to the loneliness of my room, I take off my uniform and get into the bed, feeling the coolness of the bedding on my warm naked skin. As the lights fade off, I close my eyes expecting to meet my good friend Morpheus, who will open the huge and heavy gates into the infinite universe of unexpected dreams. While diving into it, my nostrils catch what remains of Tanja's sweet scent, hoping it to be a sort of a nice company on the way to a peaceful sleep, free from bad dreams.<div><br /></div><div>Or at least, that's what I'm hoping for.</div></div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-12199485078709977912021-05-12T11:47:00.003+00:002021-05-12T11:48:33.647+00:004<p>The training session at the gym leaves me slightly sore but also with my endorphins at peak level. </p><div>I feel a strong lack of security in myself when I'm up to use the psychologist's buzzer door. Dr Amanda Lancaster, it says. It's just a door among many others within the ship, but it seems to me it's a strong brick wall, two hundred metres long and thick. I have never been an open person myself. Never liked to talk about myself, about my feelings. In fact, I was never a good chatter, not keen on talking about anything, to be honest. I'm a person of action, not a person of words. Give me a task and the right tool and I'll do the job with joy. Put me in front of somebody, let's say...a psychologist, for example, and I'll behave as an eight-year-old child, looking to the floor with nothing to say.</div><div><br />That's one of the reasons why I choose this job. There's not much to speak about. They give you an objective, a mission and you just accomplish it as best as possible. There are no questions, no doubts, you just do the job and at the end of it, you might get a well done as a reward, along with a pat on your shoulder.</div><div><br />The ship feels quiet while all my colleagues are at the canteen, having a laugh in front of a drink after dinner. Good people, my fellow diggers. That's one of the key rules when enrolling in such a big private company like this one. You become part of a new family, with many brothers and sisters. They will die for you as you will die for them. All of us are as a whole entity, alive and ready for action. Ready for any kind of danger, for any kind of adventure space may have for us.</div><div><br />My finger feels like a foreign stick when I press the intercom button.</div><div><br />'Hello?', a voice replies.</div><div><br />'Hi, Dr Lancaster. It's Kara Gudjonsson'. My voice trembles like the strings of an old piano.</div><div><br />'Please, come in.'</div><div><br />The shhh of the sliding door brings the light of the room onto me, making me feel like a famous movie star -or more as a fool- in the scenario of a full theatre.</div><div><br />'Gudjonsson, so nice to see you. Please have a seat.', she says, pointing to the fluffy armchair in front of her desk.</div><div><br />'Thanks.'</div><div><br />While I sit, Dr Lancaster raises from behind her desk, finding another armchair just in front of mine. That's the first psychological trick of the session, I think. Leave nothing in between your clients and yourself so they will feel at the same level, comfortable enough to start opening their mind like a blooming flower. Well, I guess it works somehow, and I hate it. I hate when a shrink starts playing games with your mind, even before opening the mouth.</div><div><br />During the time I try to hold myself together, I take a very good look at the doctor's office. Very peaceful decoration, very zen. Some pretty landscapes on some of the pictures hanging here and there make the most of the dull-painted walls. The beautiful sound of singing birds brings my eyes to the far wall of the premises. A screen-wall indeed, just behind a huge sofa, showing an amazing live picture of a thick forest back on Earth.</div><div><br />My eyes come back to Dr Lancaster just after noticing a very interesting picture with a sign on it:<br />FLOW LIKE THE WATER BUT REMEMBER NOT TO DROWN IN YOURSELF. That seems to me like a piece of very good advice making me smile in return.</div><div><br />'You like it?'</div><div><br />'Yeah, the whole place looks very nice and welcoming.'</div><div><br />'Agreed. I'm always trying to feel at home wherever my job brings me. I'm especially proud of the screen-wall. After long discussions I finally got it. Management didn't understand the point of it. I just told them that not only my clients have to feel comfortable in here but myself as well. Especially if it's me how has to spend all day in this place.'</div><div><br />'It's amazing indeed. I've never seen one of such quality. I thought they were not meant to be installed on a ship like this.'</div><div><br />'It's not', she replies with a smile. 'Do you like nature?'</div><div><br />'I love it.'</div><div><br />'Why?'</div><div><br />'Because there's no human pollution.'</div><div><br />'You mean there are no people in there?'</div><div><br />'No, I mean there are no lies, no violence. Just peace and quiet. Plants, trees, insects, animals...they will never lie to you, they will be honest as they are unable to do otherwise.'</div><div><br />'That's a very interesting point of view.'</div><div><br />'I see you don't have any window. Why is that, you don't like the sight of the space?'</div><div><br />'You are a very perceptive individual alright. I don't like the view of something that has no end. Drives me nuts, which is something I shouldn't say as a psychologist.', she says with a warm smile.</div><div><br />'Why not if that's how you feel?'</div><div><br />'I guess it shows some kind of weakness I shouldn't share with anybody. According to the 'good psychology' book, as a mental therapist, I have to show myself in front of my clients as an island in the middle of the fierce ocean, a shelter where to hide safely in the middle of a storm.'</div><div><br />'That sounds very nice but we are all humans here, don't we?'</div><div><br />'Indeed. Anyway, how are things going, Kara?</div><div><br />'Well, doctor-'</div><div><br />'Please, call me Amanda.'</div><div><br />'Things are going well, Amanda. It's just these nightmares that keep disturbing my mind in my sleep.'</div><div><br />'What kind of nightmares? Could you describe them to me?'</div><div><br />'That's easy since it's always the same one every other night. In these nightmares, I'm surrounded by darkness, just pitch black anywhere I look. And then this scary sound of an unknown breath next to me. It's definitely not human as it sounds like a beast. I can even feel the warmth of its breath on my face.'</div><div><br />'What happens next?'</div><div><br />'Nothing. That's all. The nightmare lasts not much but feels like forever and I find myself amid the bedding soaking in my own sweat. The tension and the fear feel as real as your oak desk in here.'</div><div><br />'You know, many people think dreams and nightmares are just some tricks from our mind. They tend to believe they are the garbage left in our mind after the stress of real life. Which might be true in a way. But what they really are is a link between your conscious mind and the unconscious one. When awake, our conscious mind takes control of our actions and thoughts whereas when we are asleep, our unconscious mind takes over, showing weird things in our dreams. Most of the times what we see in dreams is of no much use, as the adverts on tv. But sometimes, dreams are the link between our two minds. In my professional opinion, Kara, I think your mind is trying to tell you something.'</div><div><br />'But what is it?'</div><div><br />'I don't know. Only you can know that. Perhaps not now, perhaps there's something you are missing or something still to be shown to you within that nightmare or even a different one. But I definitely think there's a hidden message you need to decrypt. When you do so, the nightmares will probably stop coming up.'</div><div><br />'I see. Thanks for your time, Amanda'</div><div><br />'You are very welcome. It's always a pleasure. Please don't hesitate on visiting me again if you feel I can help you with anything else, alright?'</div><div><br />'Sure thing. Thanks.'</div><div><br />My tired muscles complain like a hungry child when I raise from the extremely comfortable armchair -another psycho-trick?-. </div><div>I press the button and the shhh of the door leaves a bare exit for me to come back to my real life, leaving my mental worries behind, or at least that's my hope. When I'm up to cross the door frame, Dr Lancaster talks again.</div><div><br />'One more thing, Kara.'</div><div><br />'Yes?'</div><div><br />'Sometimes we can alter the world of dreams by introducing an external object from the real world. Next time you go to sleep, you may try to take something with you, something that brings you light into that thick darkness you told me. I mean, literally.'</div><div><br />'I'll keep that in mind.'</div><div><br />The pale light of the corridor feels like a relief from that trip into my mental maze. Light into the darkness. Sounds like a bloody witchcraft medieval story I read on those old books from my father's private library. Perhaps I should give him a call asking for advice.<br /><br /></div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-90282138669597390312021-04-12T18:08:00.007+00:002021-08-15T15:02:34.394+00:003<p>After such a good breakfast, I feel ready for action. There's nothing better for a quick start-up for the day than a good breakfast. My father used to say that every day when I was a child, back on Earth. I think he would be proud of me knowing that I still keep some of the key lifestyle routines he taught me many years ago.</p><div>Despite he always wanted to have a boy, he accepted me from the very beginning and raised me with all these values and ethics he always wanted to teach that never born son. Unfortunately or not, destiny had other plans and I happened to be my parents only child. A girl with quite a temper, like my grandmother, as my parents always reminded me every time I was misbehaving. I wish I could have met her. Somehow I feel her presence every so often as a kind of guardian looking after me, somehow sent by my beloved parents.<br /><br />Back on the ship, we are meant to have a meeting in the briefing room before starting the training session at the gym. After walking through several dull corridors, the blue line on the floor helps me find the briefing room, already packed with my fellow diggers. As usual, Tanja has kept an empty seat beside her for me, not far away from the very front row, where our head supervisor Katrina is up to speak. The lights of the room dim and a 3-D hologram projected above the desk appears in front of her showing a grotesque piece of machinery I haven't seen before. The hologram spins slowly, glowing on her face, exchanging our head supervisor for a ghost taken away from a very old abandoned house.</div><div><br />'Right! Hope you ladies have your ass resting and you feel comfortable enough. There's something important I need to tell you. Our holidays in space are over.'</div><div><br />'Oh, come on!', mourns Jack Jenkins, the guy with a twisted tongue.</div><div><br />'Shut it, Jenkins! I know you guys like to put your ass into some action, so hope this makes you shiver of excitement. Last night our lovely ship's AI Gladius, found us a beautiful piece of rock wandering out there, waiting for us. That's right, a huge asteroid of 5.4 miles in diameter. According to the first quick analysis, this charming rock is pretty rich in the most wanted minerals so duty calls. Questions?'</div><div><br />A few hands arise.</div><div><br />'Jenkins.'</div><div><br />'That sounds exciting as hell, Katrina. In fact, I think I got a boner and everything. So what's that ugly thing spinning in front of us?', says Jenkins pointing at the hologram.</div><div><br />'That, ladies and gentlemen, is our new present from our beloved company. Let me introduce you to the GDB800, or Great Digging Bastard 800, the biggest hole-maker motherfucker you have ever had the pleasure to work with. But do not worry, that's going to change very soon. We've got delivered a few prototypes for us to try. You are gonna love them. They still smell like new. One thing I can already assure you; this bloody drill is much harder than that little chickpea Jenkins has under his pants.', says Katrina with a wink to Jack. </div><div><br /></div><div>'Any more questions? Yes, Tanja?'</div><div><br />'Is this job going to take long? We were meant to come back home in a couple of months, right?'</div><div><br />'Duty is a duty, my dear. I would like to go home as much as you guys but this a priority mission. We will go back to the schedule once this mission is solved. I'm sure this handsome fella here will make our job a bit easier. Anything else? What now Jenkins?'</div><div><br />'Is there any special reward for the completion of this mission? I mean, we are so far away from our Solar System. If something happens out there, I guess it's gonna take a while for anybody to give us a hand so... What if we encounter some crazy female predators with big pussies full of teeth and all...'</div><div><br />'Special reward? Oh yes, you get to keep your job...and depending on your performance out there, you may or may not find my boot deep inside your skinny ass so I suggest you, dear Jack and all of you guys to do your best. The company has put a lot of effort and resources into this one. Don't fuck it up or you will wish to have chosen another job!</div><div><br />'Well, I already wish that', responds Jack.</div><div><br />Katrina's burning eyes are on once again, this time making Jack feel like a half-smoked cigarette.</div><div><br />'The company expects the deepest commitment from all of you, mostly given this piece of machinery provided to make our lives much easier out there. Now, if there are no more silly enquiries, you guys can move your ass and start pumping iron at the gym right now. This machine is powerful as hell so you will need your bloody muscles ready to handle it.'</div><div><br />'Wonderful!', says Jack in despair while he's rising from the chair along with everybody else.</div><div><br />'Jenkins, I want to see your ass as hard as bloody steel after your training, understood?.'</div><div><br />'I might be obsessed with pussies, ma'am, but you are definitely into asses alright.' replies Jack, with a naughty smile before leaving the room.</div><div><br />As usual, I'm the last soul leaving the briefing room except for our chief supervisor.</div><div><br />'Boy, do I hate that bastard.' she says in a tired whisper while looking at the hologram of the GB800 in front of her. </div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-74300282026485048162021-03-09T11:36:00.001+00:002021-03-09T12:44:53.012+00:002<p>Outside my room, the ship feels lonely and quiet. The corridor towards the cantine is full of pictures of memorable places back on Earth, most of them long gone. The great wall in China, the Taj Mahal in India, the beauty of Venice in Italy, the statue of liberty in New York,... All of them currently under re-construction after falling apart during the great war. The debris remaining are some kind of ghosts upon all of us, whispers of another era, mourning for a piece of mercy.</p>The cantine is already half-full of people eating breakfast. As it works with the first-come, first-served rule, nobody wants to be eating the leftovers. Like me, people crave the nice and fresh stuff from the buffet and things like cornbread are likely to be left, forgotten on its steel tray forever.<div><br />It's funny... After so many years, the traditional full English breakfast is still the most popular choice for most people. The traditional recipes are always the best. To be honest, I find it difficult to beat the warmth of tomato beans, salty bacon, soft mushrooms and creamy scrambled eggs, along with a cup of strong dark coffee. That's a real morning-starter.</div><div><br />I take my tray full of this beautiful mix of colours and flavours towards a free seat on a table among my fellow colleagues.<br />'Morning guys'<br />'Morning Sonja, how are you doing?'<br />'Another day in paradise, uh?'<br />'Oh, yeah, baby', replies Jack, our favourite and only ginger Irishman within our beloved ship.</div><div><br />Most of the people sitting at the long table are 'diggers' like me, but there's also some technicians and other crew members in there. We are like a big family here, although we happen to spend most of the time working, building up good -or not so good- relationships with our workmates. Being so far from home makes everybody a bit homesick sometimes. That's why it always comes in handy to have somebody to have a chat with, somebody to share a drink or two and even somebody with an available shoulder to cry on when the time comes. For that time will come to everybody, sooner or later and our <i>friend</i> Amanda -the shrink- is not always enough to overcome the challenge.</div><div><br />'Did you go for a haircut?', Tanja asks me. She's sitting in front of me, taking good count of her beans on a dark as hell toast.<br />'Yeah, well. I did it myself. You know me, always doing things in my own way'<br />'You look gorgeous, even more than before', she says with a blink of an eye.<br />'Thanks', I say with a shy smile on my lips.</div><div><br />Tanja and I have been very good friends since the beginning when we started our mining training at the company's headquarters back in Iceland, ten years ago. When we first met it was like we were friends since forever, even from a previous life. Sometimes I think of Tanja as the older sister I never had, always protecting me from any danger, always there to support me and to help me thrive in life. I could always feel the love in her eyes every time she put her pretty dark eyes on me. I admire her, not just because of all that but because of how strong she is, physically and mentally speaking. I wish I could be more like Tanja and a bit less like myself.</div><div><br />'Did you sleep well?', I ask her after a few minutes eating in silence.<br />'Kind of. Still struggling with my inner biological clock. I need to get used to the same views from my window since the cycles of day and night are gone for good, despite the fake sun waking me up every day, you know?', she says.<br />'Well, not everybody has a bloody window in here, so you should be grateful', says Jack before continuing discussing the result of the football match of the previous night with somebody else.<br />Both of us laugh at that comment, nearly dropping some food from the mouth.</div><div><br />'What about you?', she asks me.<br />'I had a nightmare...again'<br />'The same thing as usual?'<br />'Yeah', I reply with deep concern.<br />'You should book an appointment with Amanda. You know how much she likes to be messing up into our minds', says Tanja with a supportive expression on her face.<br />'I might do that after work, yeah'<br /><br /></div><div>The sound of heavy boots breaks the pacific environment in the cantine. The deep velvety voice of our charming head supervisor almost provokes me a digestion cut when shouts at us.<br />'Welcome to another day in hell, my lovely siblings. Hope your stomach is full of proteins, your muscles are ready for action, your mind is free from bullshit and your balls are strong because today you will need all of that more than any other day'</div><div><br />That's it, another crushing training day at the gym. Now I have to put all the food left on the plate in my mouth while my colleagues are already leaving the table. After a few struggling moments, I manage to swallow everything with the help of the last sip of coffee.</div><div><br />'You know, I keep asking myself why the hell Katrina doesn't eat breakfast with us?', I ask Tanja in a whisper.<br />'Rumours say she's an android with the only need of drinking a bit of engine oil in the morning', says Tanja with a funny look in her eyes.<br />'I see. Now I do understand why her hair always looks so perfect and her skin glows like bloody Roman marble', I say, before noticing a killing stare from the steel-cold blue eyes of Katrina. </div><div><br /></div><div>If looks could burn I would be ashes by now.</div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-29751332826982211402018-01-09T16:55:00.085+00:002021-02-02T21:26:10.119+00:001. WAKE UP, KARA5.00 AM<div><br />The bitter sound of my alarm clock drags me out from my deep dreams. The bedsheet cracks under my naked body as an unspoken murmur of an absent lover when I reach the annoying machine to kill the noise.<div><br />The automatic system of the room brings light into the darkness in a very soft way, simulating the sunrise. Another day in paradise indeed. I stretch my sore muscles while I'm still in bed through a few useful exercises. Muscles are a very grateful part of our anatomy. You take care of them, feed them well and they'll perform their best till your death comes by.</div><div><br />I get up on the fluffy blue carpet of my room. It's made from a strange animal I'm not able to recall just now. I approach the big and only window next to my bed to grasp the universe infinity. After all these years I still find myself amused in front of so powerful sight. Such blackness, full of stars, planets and galaxies beyond anybody's reach. I love it and at the same time, I fear it. For me, it's like the vast ocean back on Earth. So pretty and blue on its safe surface, and at the same time so dark, dangerous and unknown in its depth.</div><div><br />I take my warm body into the shower as a kind of tabula rasa to start the day. The hot water helps me slide off the remains of the nightmare I've been having several days in a row already. It's always the same. Just me, in an unknown place with the only company of absolute darkness and the breath of somebody else very close to me. Although I wouldn't say it's 'somebody' as that breath sounds more like a menacing beast and I have no weapon the defend myself against. I may go to visit the psychologist after my shift today. My sleep patterns are getting poorer and I can't afford to not rest properly every night.</div><div><br />I finish the shower on the top of a climax. The company wants happy and satisfied employees so they make sure everyone gets a sexual tool app installed in every single shower. Just the best friend for singles and a very good alternative if you happen to have a useless lover. The perfect final touch for a reinvigorating shower.<div><br />While I dry my athletic body in front of the mirror I catch the glimpse of the picture located on my bedside table. It shows a happy smiley couple. My parents. I left them back on Earth about ten years ago, when I started my new life wandering around the deep space. Astro Digger gave me the opportunity I was waiting for, for so many years. It's a private mining company ruled by the Federal Global Organisation, which is trying to keep the Earth in a kind of still and peaceful condition within our fellow citizens. After the third world war and the second black death wiped out most of the human beings, the remaining survivors had to rebuild another civilization based on peace, harmony, and care for one another. A utopia I would believe when I see it.</div><div><br />Even though I'm quite happy with my current life I can't help myself from having a pinch on my heart every time I look at that picture. Loneliness feels like a virus eating from your soul day by day, bite after bite.</div><div><br />Back on my reflection, I can see how good the new haircut makes me feel. This short hair brings me strength, more self-esteem and security to myself.</div><div> <br />The wardrobe offers me a senseless bunch of the same blueish uniform. Dull, but at least saves me quite a lot of time when choosing what to wear every day. </div><div>The fabric feels hard but elastic, cold at first but warm after just a few seconds. The soft but strong touch of its tightness on my body feels very reassuring.</div><div>I pull the zip all the way up to my neck. keeping my bulging breast under control. </div><div>Looks like I'm ready to go.</div><div><br />My stomach makes funny noises when I open the door and the smell of fresh food reaches my nostrils. Hope there's no cornbread today. I hate cornbread for breakfast.<br /><br /></div></div></div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2876657712083866691.post-25209969966668548182017-12-22T10:28:00.005+00:002021-01-02T17:36:11.242+00:00DOOMSDAY - a short story<div style="text-align: justify;">Chaos. Destruction. Desolation. Death.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">These words come to my mind as a dark mantra over and over again.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Monday, early morning. The bus is full of people. Full of bastards like me, going to work with their sad face, earphones plugged, trying to convince themselves they are happy when the reality is that they -we- are like sheep going to face the butcher's axe. The ruler of our existence, the owner of our souls.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I wish everything was different...</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I look through the window. The city is overcrowded by people walking, by a perpetual traffic jam, by buses like this one, full of the same kind of sheep. I wish everything was like it was before or like it was after, I'm still not sure 'when' to place the facts.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">My mind shows me a different world. A world full of despair and empty of people. Umm, so nice.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's like some kind of homesickness. I feel I don't belong to this world but to the one my mind shows me. A world with no cities, no people, no traffic jam, no buses full of commuting bastards, no jobs, no employers, no employees, no council, no supermarkets, no queues,... A world where the whole population has been wiped out and there's only debris buried under tons of yellowish sand. Oh, such a paradise!</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But please, don't get me wrong. I don't hate people. I don't want to harm anybody nor wish them anything bad to happen. I just want them to disappear...all of them.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sitting here, surrounded by the different scents, perfumes and particular odours of these people make me sick. How can they be so selfish, making such a deep footprint in this world?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have memories of other worlds, of other lives. Memories that may lead me to my past or to my future. I just know -feel- that I don't belong here. I shouldn't be on this bus, surrounded by these people, commuting to work on this bloody day of my meaningless existence.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I wish I wasn't here. I wish I was somewhere else...some other time. That world of despair and loneliness suits me much better than this one.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I've been working in so many different places, doing so many different things. I keep trying to adapt myself to this world, to this civilization. Looks like all this effort is just a waste of time but I'm still trying to convince myself to carry on, to try harder.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I haven't been made for this kind of environment. My place is elsewhere, closer to the stars, moving between different worlds.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm a lonely survivor, wandering around the universe. I'm not used to this. My eyes have seen many worlds and believe me when I say they don't like this one a bit.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I wish I could change it. I wish I could switch my reality as we change a TV channel with the remote control. But it's not that easy. Seems to me the only option I have is to wait, trying to live this hollow life as best as I can.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I just hope that at the end of it, something better awaits me. I don't need a paradise, full of naked women, wealth or something of the sort.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">A deserted world, full of chaos, destruction, and death will do fine...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">...it will do just fine </div>Mario Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09766075337065440937noreply@blogger.com2